Higgs Boson. I am a nihilist

On my last doctoral study week, Kirk called me a nihilist. After a moment of consideration, I agreed. Blaming the pandemic and the Russian War to explain my turn into nihilism would be oversimplistic. I suspect the twist into a rotten reality of doubt happened around the time I turned nine. What exactly caused the moral corruption of a sweet blond girl is a long story for a boring day, Queen’s jubilee for example. Suffice to say, I turned into a doubting little monster.

Examples? There you go:

“Children must respect adults” — “Why would they if adults don’t respect children?”

“Christ redeemed humanity”- What does it mean? Like how? Please, anyone, convince how nailing Jesus to the cross made a change?

“Good is love” — yeah, right, except when angry.

My newly discovered intellectual freedom brought me enemies and turned my happy childhood into a hellish teen-Age, so I welcomed leaving my parents’ house and … clashed with so-called adult world. It took me two decades to learn to keep my mouth shut if I wanted to achieve something. Not that I have great aspirations. I am quite interested in the nature of things and how different sciences make sense of it. And, of course, I need some money to keep my explorations going.

How exactly Kirk figured out I am a nihilist, I don’t know; perhaps he is a superb psychologist, but yes, I am indeed, and Covid + Putin + Higgs Boson made me drop the vail.

How exactly:

Covid and antivax hysteria(s) exposed the absurdity of our politics and social arrangements, and life routines. Many examples could be given, but my favourites (from both sides) are:

1. Sitting on the grass — RESTRICTED! In May 2020, I was approached by two police officers while sitting on the grass at London Fields common. No people around me, benches wrapped in yellow-black tape. They asked to leave or face a penalty. Why? Pandemic. But how is my NOT-sitting on the grass protecting my fellow Londoners and me from the virus?

2. Pandemic was deliberately created by Reptilians (social media moguls) who prey on humanity and want to control us by injecting deadly vaccines. Well, techno-lizards, make up your minds! Do you want to kill us or make us use your platforms?

Then Putin happened, and everybody was surprised he kept lying about everything. Show me an empire that is NOT:

1. Based on lies

2. Abusing power

3. Disregarding human rights (why exactly humans claim special rights?)

4. Using propaganda.

Many get excited about Putin’s ruthless strength. Don’t be a weakling mate! Go for it! Like Julius Cesar, Napoleon, Bezos or Tories.

Off Putin went. With his puffy, mongrel-like face and a pritipatelian giggle. Le Pen blondie (la vache qui rit) follows, getting excited over winning her first fascist victory in so-called Western Europe. In the background, Orban is slauthering Hungarian democracy, Boris is playing a fool, the Chinese sharpen their toothies, and Ukrainian corpses are rotting on the streets of Bucha.

Meanwhile, Higgs Boson has been floating freely in space.

But before moving to the lovely Boson, a quick reminder of what nihilism is:

Nihilism (/ˈnaɪ(h)ɪlɪzəm, ˈniː-/; from Latin nihil ‘nothing’, and English -ism) is a philosophy, or family of views within philosophy, that rejects generally accepted or fundamental aspects of human existence,[1][2] such as objective truth, knowledge, morality, values or meaning.[3][4] Different nihilist positions hold variously that human values are baseless, that life is meaningless, that knowledge is impossible, or that some set of entities do not exist or are meaningless or pointless.[5][6]

Source: Wikipedia — thank you non-nihilistic contributors who draws nothing but satisfaction from updating it.

Now Higgs Boson

Just before the pandemic, my living in an oneiric reality son made me visit CERN (Geneva, Switzerland). In a long, futuristic tube, fancifully named Particles Accelerator, racing protons were making divine subatomic babies. Fathers Higgs and Englert (modern family, you know, Zeitgeist) called them Higgs bosons (Englert must be the selfless one in this duo). The problem with Baby Boson is that it exists and no-exists at the same time and cannot be spotted. Once you lay your eyes on it (through a gargantuan lens), Boson spun elsewhere. Granpa Hawking said that this cheeky Boson’s tantrums could be pretty dangerous. If it plays too hard, it may collapse time and space into a vacuum (oh well, we parents know annihilation that our toddlers can create).

Boson has a sister called Fermion(a). Those sub-atomic siblings play together on an invisible energy field that saturates particles with mass. In other words, physicists discovered that things are made out of nothing.

Ha ha! My 9 years-old self cherishes. I told you so! God, the beardy father, is a myth.

But, hold on a minute, isn’t Bible saying something similar? That it was nothing in the beginning? Then Logos (or Word) happened. But a word is nothing, a symbol, vibration, and energy. So, them Jews knew the truth, yet sold a snotty story about asexual Mary fertilised by a holy spirit and so on and so forth. Or maybe Bible was written by Reptilians setting the scene for a deadly vaccine two millennia later?

Anyhow, the world is made out of nothing, Kirk; therefore, I am a nihilist. Higgs Boson and Fermion(a) made me this way.